The Gift of Presence

Powerful words from Henri Nouwen:

"Let us not underestimate how hard it is to be compassionate. Compassion is hard because it requires the inner disposition to go with others to the place where they are weak, vulnerable, lonely, and broken. But this is not our spontaneous response to suffering. What we desire most is to do away with suffering by fleeing from it or finding a quick cure for it. As busy, active, relevant ministers, we want to earn our bread by making a real contribution. This means first and foremost doing something to show that our presence makes a difference. And so we ignore our greatest gift, which is our ability to enter into solidarity with those who suffer."

"Those who can sit in silence with their fellowman, not knowing what to say but knowing that they should be there, can bring new life in a dying heart. Those who are not afraid to hold a hand in gratitude, to shed tears in grief and to let a sigh of distress arise straight from the heart can break through paralyzing boundaries and witness the birth of a new fellowship, the fellowship of the broken."

These words speak to the deepest place in me, and I'd even go out on a limb to say that they are the closest thing yet to the expression of the call of God on my life. I have had the privilege of giving and receiving this gift, and it truly transcends any word or action I know of. I will never forget the day last spring, sitting on the couch, in silence, looking through the window outside, holding hands with another, weeping, allowing God to work. The need to be quiet, but not alone. I have, and continue to experience the pain of abandonment, of rejection. And at times, the greatest irony is that I often run from the very thing I desire. Someone told me today that she can out-run me. And I am so grateful. Thank you God for the gift of presence. Help me to receive it as freely as I desire to give it.